Thursday, April 14, 2016

No Adults Here

I guess technically I am an "adult," but I don't feel that way. Not only have I never been eager to grow up, I've always been treated in this strange "take responsibility/you can't have responsibility" manner. 

In school, I was younger than most of my classmates. When I approached assignments seriously, I was told I was too serious. When I joked around, I was told that I needed to take things seriously. I honestly felt like I could do no right. This of course crept into group projects. If I tried to take the lead (or was directed to lead a group), I was ignored, talked over and pushed aside.

I guess a lifetime of deferring to others has firmly imprinted itself upon my body, and when I meet new people and need them to follow my directives, they don't trust my decisions.

Since I began tutoring about two and a half years ago, I've really felt how a lack of 'adultness'?, an air of...'adultness'? affects my lessons. 

Parents, I can either be friends with your kid or I can beat the shit out of your kid. I can't force them into speaking English. I can't force them to listen to me. I need your help here. Don't just throw your kids at me. I don't know how to control them. Heck, maybe this has nothing to do with being an adult, but still, I feel like if I had something within myself that made people want to listen to and follow what I say, I'd have an easier time with a lot of things.


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